So I was just reminded that since I had 5 lymph nodes removed I am at a great risk for lymphoma.  This is the permanent swelling of an arm and hand on the side of the removed lymph nodes.  So will that make me the Funky Lymphedema?

I’ll Break it down:
Back in the hospital, woke up from the operation
My family there by my side “My Crazy Connection”
The all voted and you know they picked a winner
They took  their Mom to Table 104 for Medina and some dinner
She had a few drinks, We’re thinkin what the heck is she sayin?                                     No lifting more than a gallon of milk now or forever
Or  I’ll  end up having Funky Cold Lymphedema!

 

More sleepless nights, eyes starting to tear 😢 constantly and stomach cramps are still with me.  I have also noticed I may lose a few fingernails – the latest new side effect.  Ugh!

My eyes 👀 do not want to stop tearing.  Red and tearing, looks like I’ve been crying.  I really haven’t been.  Not this week anyway.  Hands are now blistering and peeling.  Looks great!  Like an alligator shedding its skin.

14 days since the last treatment, and here comes the sore raw throat.  Could I be spared one side effect?

On the other hand my energy level is increasing. Slept all night for the first time in weeks.  A plus.  That is the light I’ve been looking for.  See, it really could be worse.

2 days to the Cancer Walk.   I’m gonna make it!!!!!  Even in the top 10 fundraising teams thanks to my incredible family and friends!  ❤️

 

This is the last big treatment I’m supposed to have I thought I’d walk you through what my days are like.  The day of the treatment it’s pretty simple you go you sit and wait all day for the IVs (poison) to run through you then you go home.   A few days pass before it really starts to affect me then after two days you start feeling tired really, tired.  I can’t even get off the couch for a few days.  Any thing I attempt to do takes all of my strengths and lands me back on the couch.

There is such an awful taste in my mouth.  There is no way to describe it except that it’s just always so salty.   24/7.   Even when I wake in the middle of the night.  So no matter what I try eat or drink the taste of salt is there and everything taste horrible even water.   I don’t want to eat or drink anything .  My tongue and lips starts to feel numb  and my throat starts to hurt.   Then my hands start to burn and boy does that hurt.  They turn red and raw especially in between my fingers and within a few days  they’ll start to blister and peel.  Then the stomach cramps come – I feel like I’m being cooked from the inside out, day and night there’s a burning sensation.   I pray that I could sleep because that’s the only time I don’t feel the pain.  But I don’t.

Headache and  constipation followed by diarrhea.  My nose starts to run constantly which causes me to wipe it and then that starts to blister and peel.  My back starts to spasm no matter what position I try.  Nausea sets in and I just feel horrible.  Not one part of my body feels good.  Not one!   With each treatment it seems the symptoms are magnified.  It’s been 1 week since my treatment and still no relief.

My hands still burn.  My heart ❤️ even aches for the days when I’ll feel relief.  I know the light is there somewhere at the end of the tunnel, I just can’t see any sign of it.  Today is day 11 post chemo and I still feel bad.  Tip of my tongue is numb, still feel a humming in my head, and hands still hurt.  Almost there!   I give all I have to keep the faith.   Keep the faith and pray. 🙏  And never give up.  Ever.

So every year for the past 20 years this group had walked in memory of our lost loved ones to all types on Cancer.   😢  This year they will walk in honor of me, my nickname Juicy, team name: Juicy’s Joggers and in memory of those we have lost to this Awful disease.  Our team name has been changed several times over the year, but the core remains unchanged.

Thanks to the love and support of my family and dear friends, June 4th we will do the Hope-in-motion walk for the Stamford Hospital Bennet Cancer Center.  Our team membership is upwards of 28 walkers this year and growing.  Thank you everyone.  It means so much to me!   💝

Today is the day of my last big treatment.  Meaning I go from 5 medications every 3 weeks, to 1 medication every 3 weeks until the end of the year.  I’m told I should not feel like I did after the initial 6 treatments so I am physched.

I’ve worked so hard this week trying to accomplish 2 weeks of lost time that will follow this treatment like clockwork.  Got my garden planted, did some weeding and mulching.  I thank God for letting the weather cooperate and allowing me to accomplish so much!  🌞  I won’t miss these treatments.

Getting to the point of my post treatment where I’m starting to feel better.   My energy level is back, I feel good and I’m ready to do a little more.  I  love the week before my treatment when I  feel this way.  It actually feels really good and reminds me of the days to come when I am done with my treatments.

It is nice to be getting outside and doing a little gardening.  Spring has sprung, the sun feels warm, and there is a feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day.

Ahhh.   Thank you God.   I know it could be worse.

 

 

Hello,
Is there anybody in there?  Just nod if you can hear me.  Is there anyone at home?

That’s how reality hits when you understand those words – You have Cancer.

Feeling down, is there anything that can ease your pain and get you on your feet again – There is not enough Stoli in the world.  When you feel so bad, how can you drink?

There is no pain, you are receding
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying?  All I heard was Chemo.

O.K. Then
Just a little pin prick 💉
There’ll be no more aaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.

I can’t wait until I can become comfortably numb.  Stoli neet!

I am truly blessed.  My family is awesome.  The best support staff EVER!  A husband, 4 sisters, 3 daughters, 4 granddaughters, my Mom, nieces, nephews, and friends, so many wonderful friends.  And I know my Dad is watching over me from heaven.

So why is it that I feel so all alone at times?  I’ve been told it is a side effect as well.  I’ve read Cancer is a lonely disease.  I know what they mean now.  The minute you are alone your mind starts playing games with you.  You start to second guess your decisions.  Why did I do chemo when I felt so good before?  Am I doing the right thing?  God I hope so.  I hope all this poison protects me in the future.  That is why we do chemo right?

I need a fix ’cause I’m going down
Happiness is a warm gun (bang bang shoot shoot) 🔫.  Just shoot me now.

Not so much.   It used to be everywhere.  I mean everywhere.  And now it’s gone.

Give me down to there hair, shoulder length or longer
Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair.

It will grow back curly, so I am told.

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Let’s talk side effects.  A quick rundown.  Headache, nausea, neuropathy,  cramps, constipation, diarrhea, back spasms, mouth sores and numbness, nosebleeds, constant nasal drip – then the skin peels under my nose and lips.  As that’s not enough then my hands burn as if I had 3rd degree burns, they peel and are beet red. Eyes tear, blurred vision – not from the vodka.  A salty taste in my mouth that never fades and did I mention I’m emotional? 😭 Last but certainly not least is hair loss.  Ouch!   And just as I am feeling better, it’s time to go again.

Thanks Carboplatin, Taxitiera, Herceptin, Projeta and last but not least Nuelasta.  You have replaced my vodka.   Every 3 weeks for 18 weeks.  7 hours of iv’s.  😒  Then I get 1 iv every 3 weeks for the rest of a year!  Yeah!   See, it could always be worse.

I prefer Stoli any day of the week.  Neet please!  🍸